6 posts tagged “me”

and a few complications came up unexpectedly. I had to have 2 blood transfusions and spend some extra time in the hospital. I'm now home but I am very weak. Just wanted to let you know I'm home and doing alright so far.

I've just not been in a blogging mood. I go to the doctor tomorrow to see how the surgery will be done and when. I will post tomorrow how my appointment goes.

Yeah even with Chad spending the day with me I still feel icky, and sad :'o( We went to our hometown today to take Josh to the armory for his 3 day drill weekend. While there we stopped to see Kassy & Jeremy. That was nice. Then we took Josh to eat and then we drove around the town for a bit. They are doing lots of building there. They're getting a Walgreens *lol* Really moving up eh?! We went in the armory and I wasn't very pleasant I must say. They took my boys and gave me a pink t-shirt. *lol* Really, I got a pink army national guard t-shirt. I'll take a pic of it later. After that Chad & I drove home and here we are. He's napping and I'm downstairs in the living room playing on the computer while M*A*S*H is on tv. I'm going to call my dr Monday about the counseling she wants me to get before my surgery. *For my mental state* I can't afford it so I'm going to see if she will accept one of the chaplains at the hospital. Plus they would be there for me while I'm in the hospital if I needed to talk to them. I'm also going to tell her I need this surgery ASAP! The sooner I have, the sooner I heal, and the sooner I can travel to see my boys :o) Chad's worried about me. He's worried that I'm losing it and what will I do when Josh leaves in May. Fall apart all over again! I'm wondering if I lived closer to our family if I would be better about this? At least I could go see them whenever and not sit here alone. I am going to start scrapbooking again. I'm going to have Chad get my supplies dug out and print off some photos. I'm going to sort through my stuff this weekend and then Monday go to the scrapbook store and use their work room for free. That way I'm not here alone day in day out. I need to meet people and start some new routines.
Love you guys! Keep those thoughts and prayers coming!!

I'm not alone today!! But I've lost it once already today and it's only 8:22am *sigh* I did make it about 3 hours yesterday with out crying!! But when I did start to cry I looked at the clock and it was 5:15pm....The time Brad always walked through the door smiling, sayin "hey mom". When I'm stressed like this I don't eat, or get hungry. So yesterday I didn't eat all day, didn't even get hungry. But when Chad got home from work he drove me to Taco Mayo to get some food in me. I ate it but felt so sick afterwards we had to rush home. It was that sick feeling you get in your stomach when something feels wrong. I just knew something bad was going to happen, had happen. All I could think of was Brad...was he hurt, okay, etc...Chad called his mom to see how she was doing, and she was just like everyone else when Chad told her I wasn't doing to hot with Brad being away. She said "it's just basic". He told her no it's not just basic...he's got his orders! She then started crying. I thought she knew...I thought it was odd that she wasn't emotional at Brad's going away party Easter. Maybe now the family will be more supportive to me! I did sleep last night...I took some slepping meds and got some good sleep. That's the only time I don't cry and think about Brad. As soon as I wake up I think, what's he gotten done already today, what is he doing right now, is he happy, I could go on, and on with my thoughts. It would help if I knew his routine, then I could say it's such and such time, Brad's doing this right now. I'll have to include that in my letter to him. Everytime the phone rings I RUN to answer it in case it's Brad calling. So far nothing. I did get a job offer yesterday but had to turn it down due to the upcoming surgery :o( We need the cash right now! We've got to come up with X amount of $$$ by the first so they won't garnish Chad's wages!!! I hate bills! Everything is falling on my shoulders all at once...I'm strong but I can't take much more right now!! I did find some bible verses that were helpful...I hope you all have a safe and good weekend. I'm going to try to enjoy mine. It will be just me and Chad until Sunday night. {{Hugs}}

I have no energy at all! I haven't moved off the couch, except to get something to drink, run Tucker out for a quick pee pee, and to get myself to the bathroom. It's a beautiful day out today. Our high today is 78. I wish I could get out and enjoy it but that's not gonna happen. I need to get the kitchen cleaned up but that's not gonna happen either. I'm sure there is some laundry lying around here and there that needs doing. That will have to wait until the guys come home tonight. It would be nice to have someone here with me during the day to help me out with stuff. Or better yet, be able to do for myself! I'm still not allowed to vacuum, bend, lift, pretty much nothing. Chad just left to go back to the office. I hope you all have a nice day today.

After a week of being stuck on the couch recuperating from my surgery. No make up, hair not fixed, nothing. I must be losing it because I'm posting this photo and I don't care *lol*

Me~All Natural

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